Starting Saturday afternoon I’ve been dogsitting my friend Roger’s dog, Mikey. Normally Roger’s friend Bob dogsits Mikey, but Roger’s trip overlapped one of Bob’s, and Saturday through Tuesday were empty.

And, um, I am so not cut out to be a dogsitter. Or at least not for one that I have not grown up with. Watching Jake and Gus (the last of the family dogs) was tough/annoying at times, but at the same time I also knew all their little quirks, tricks, and many years of dealing and disciplining them. With Mikey, well, it’s totally different. He’s not my dog, I don’t really set the rules. But at the same time, there are some things that are non-starters in my book—like letting him sleep on the bed with me, which is a-ok when Roger is there.

So instead he has to sleep on his own bed in the living room, and he clearly hates that. On both Saturday and Sunday night (or techically, Sunday and Monday morning) he’s started whining several times because he wants to be on the bed (and I’ve been warned by Bob that he is a bed hog, it’s not like Suzanne’s dog Bruno who is content to sleep at the foot). It’s a real joy to be woken up a little before 1am. And then again around 3 or 4am. Ooof.

Now clearly he’s not happy about Roger not being there and I know he doesn’t like changes in his routine. But as I like to be able to breathe, him on the bed is not an option at all. So now all I have is one more night where I mutter words about strangulation before finally getting up and telling him to be quiet (and then taking half an hour to fall back asleep). It’s a good thing the rest of the time he is awfully cute. Well, except when this morning he refused to get off the bed to go the bathroom one last time before I left. I finally had to lure him to the door with a dog biscuit (which I then chucked outside and he ran after it). Sure enough, a few minutes later he was up in the yard taking care of business, so it was worth me having to trick him outside, and he was just being a bit of a jerk.

Why yes, I am tired and cranky from the repeated waking ups the past two nights. Can you imagine if I had a baby? It would all end very, very badly. So not cut out for that idea at this point in my life. Instead I am just focusing on being done in 24 hours. I believe the score right now is Mikey – 4; Greg – 1.

My younger sister’s dog Bruno (half-beagle, half-cocker spaniel) puts up with a lot.

Really, there’s no other way to describe these pictures.