When I went to the pool yesterday (at Spring Hill Rec Center in McLean), there were signs everywhere letting patrons know that for the day, the men’s and women’s locker rooms were swapping location. (My assumption is that a male maintenance crew needed to fix something in the women’s room, or something along those lines.) I give them credit, they made sure you couldn’t miss it: each door had about 15 signs posted on it and around it.

So after all those years of wondering, I have now seen on a legitimate level what the women’s locker room looks like. And with that in mind, here is my investigative report on the real difference between men and women.

The woman’s locker room was much more humid and warm. Uncomfortably so, in fact. Even after I’d gotten out of the shower I found myself sweating, something that normally doesn’t happen after a trip to the pool.  I actually ended up digging my towel back out as I was about to leave the room and had to mop off my face a few times. Seriously out of control warm.

There were pink tiles on the wall. Just so you were never confused that you were in the women’s locker room, I suppose. But seriously, pink everywhere. I felt like I was in a Pepto-Bismol factory.

The water pressure in the showers was less forceful than in the men’s locker room. Seriously, I even switched shower heads at one point because it was so inadequate. Trying to rinse off the soap was a much more lengthy process. If I was a woman, I’d object.

Oh, and of course there were some obvious differences. Like a lack of urinals. But I suspect you guys figured that one out already. So there we have it. According to locker room construction companies, women like humidity, low shower pressure, and the color pink. Also, they typically don’t pee standing up.

Mystery solved!