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Three Things From the Library Book Sale

I’ve been trying to shrink down some of my possessions (very very slowly, but there we go) and one of the ways I’ve done that is donating a lot of things to the library. Since I get a lot of review copies of books, it can turn into a never-ending battle, and the library donation area is one of the easiest ways to fix that problem.

The Arlington County book sale was this weekend, which made me happy because it means that starting May 1st they’re accepting donations again. I stopped by on Saturday to check out a copy of Malinda Lo’s Ash for book club in a few weeks, and while I was there I wandered through the book sale. I managed to escape with only two books being purchased, thankfully. Three things that jumped out at me while was there, though:

Seeing Books I’d Donated
This got quite a few chuckles from me. Every now and then I see books I’ve donated on the shelves (for instance, the time I was walking through the Pimmit Hills Library and suddenly came across a run of fifteen volumes of The Prince of Tennis, which made laugh since I stopped after volume 15), but I always figure the books more often than not end up in the book sale. I think I must have seen a good twenty copies of books that I’d given them in one section alone; one in particular had the same little fold on the top of the cover that I remembered so well. (No, I’m not saying which books I donated and which ones I kept in my own personal library!)

Seeing Books I’d Wanted But Long Since Forgotten About
Do you have books that you thought about buying over and over again but never did? One of those books for me was Tea From An Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan, which I think I must have picked up and put back down on the shelves at the (no longer in existence) Borders around the corner from my apartment, years ago. I’d read some of Cadigan’s Wild Cards short stories, and I heard great things about the book. But I never, ever bought it. They had a lovely hardcover copy of the book for sale, and for $2 I decided to finally scoop it up. I suspect that once I read it, I will donate it back to the library and let the cycle continue for someone else!

Seeing Books I Didn’t Know Existed
I had no idea until yesterday that Food & Wine magazine publishes an annual collection of all the recipes from that year. There was a copy of their 2006 annual available, and a quick flip through showed off enough I was interested in that I decided it was worth a purchase. And once again, if I end up getting bored with it, well, back to the library! And if I like it, well, it looks like a lot of used copies of the Food & Wine annuals are available for under a buck.

    That said? I am glad the big book sale only comes several times a year, for the sanity of my own bookshelves and wallet. After I had my two books, I decided to stop while I was still somewhat ahead and fled for the exit. I’m no fool. I know that path has disaster written all over it for me.

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    The Way I Roll

    And now, a brief illustration of how my life normally progresses from one moment to the next.

    Yesterday at the pool, I had perhaps my best swim at the 1600-yard distance to date; I beat my previous best from back in October (by just a second, but I hadn’t gotten even close to that time in ages), and afterwards I was congratulating myself on re-finding some drive and slightly-better form in the pool. I’m on my third week of having exercise six days a week, and I think that most of those days are much higher quality too. (Schedule at the end after the jump for those truly interested.)

    When I was done, I headed back into the locker room, got cleaned up and changed, and was reaching for my jacket… At which point I managed to hit my forehead against the edge of the locking mechanism on the locker door, and cut it just a tiny bit. The truly sad thing? On Monday I was looking at a photo from last year, in which after swimming I tugged on a locker door a little too hard and (all together now) cut my forehead on the edge of the locker door.

    Yes, this is my life. Fortunately I have a pretty good sense of humor about it these days.

    Continue reading The Way I Roll→

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    Five Things That Make Me Happy (part 11)

    Pet Shop Boys medley
    I’ve been listening to a mix of the PSB for the last hour or so, and while my co-workers might not be so thrilled, it’s been perfect music to work to. I started with my favorite song (“The End of the World“) and have been moving onwards from there…

    Kenneth Cole Reaction Oxfords, Starting Block Moc Toe
    I got these shoes on sale (for half off!) last week, and I love them so much that I would’ve felt I got a great deal at full price. They are super-comfortable and sturdy; I’m someone who normally wears sneakers every day of the year if I can get away with it, and I’ve been wearing these instead for the past few days. Love, love, love them.

    Office Birthday CakeMmmm, Cake
    Chocolate and raspberry, from Amphora Bakery. Deliciousness.

    Plans to Bike Ride on Sunday
    I haven’t taken my actual bike out since, well, last year. It’ll be a lot of fun to head out there with a friend and see how rusty I am. (And how well those spinning classes have done me.)

    Dinner Reservations for Volt, Tonight!
    I was a huge Bryan Voltaggio fan when his season of Top Chef aired, and I am ultra-eager to finally eat at his restaurant. A perfect surprise from Charlie.

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    Totally Awesome News

    The best kind of news article? I’ve decided it’s the kind where there’s a hidden surprise halfway through. It’s like one of those movies with the surprise twist halfway through, just when you think you know where it’s headed. (Although hopefully better than the last few M. Night Shyamalan movies. The only surprises left there are how much you’ll feel like you overpaid to see the film. But I digress.)

    Take for instance, this lovely article from DallasNews.com.

    Veteran Dallas County jail guard fired over comments
    07:26 AM CDT on Tuesday, March 16, 2010
    By KEVIN KRAUSE / The Dallas Morning News

    A veteran Dallas County jail guard has been fired for making offensive comments about his religious beliefs to co-workers, including his contention that gays should be “put to death,” sheriff’s reports show.

    At this point I’m thinking to myself, “Oh look, another boring article.” And as I read along, at first it seems fairly run-of-the-mill. Hates gay people, hates non-white people, and pulls out the whole “the Bible says slavery is all right.” Now to be fair, I am impressed that he pointed to the Bible’s pro-slavery passages, because normally people just go for the anti-gay stuff in that section. (Funny how no one ever goes for the “God says you may beat your children” and “mixed fibers are a sin” passages, but that’s another story.)

    But then? Suddenly, with no warning…

    “I believe that all dinosaurs were born of Satanic angel who has sex with woman and the animal kingdom that created ungodly reptilian creatures none of these were on the Ark,” Johnson said.

    What the?!?!

    As if to make you think you just mis-read that paragraph, the next two paragraphs are back to boring anti-gay, you’re-going-to-get-fired everyday material. But then we go back to the motherlode of awesome.

    “He continued making statements which included his belief that God had sex with angels, and that dinosaurs were destroyed because man had sex with them, as well as his belief that the Devil had sex with humans,” the report concluded.

    This is now, officially, the best news article ever. Also, I am going to write up a book proposal involving God having sex with angels, humans having sex with dinosaurs, the Devil having sex with humans, and Satanic angels giving birth to dinosaurs. I will sell a billion copies. Possibly more.

    Also, I want to know just what it would look like to see a (Satanic) angel giving birth to an apatosaurus (the dinosaur formerly known as brontosaurus). Maybe someone could please computer animate this for me? If I ever have children, I am fairly certain I could show it to them to make them do… well… anything I want. “Brush your teeth or this might happen to you.” “Clean your room or you’ll give birth to a dinosaur.” Just think of the possibilities.

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    Out of Sight, Out of Mouth

    It’s that time of year. The most evil time of year. The time when Girl Scout cookies are on sale.

    I freely admit that I am powerless when it comes to those little bites of deliciousness. Especially the Thin Mints and Samoas, although Tagalongs are a close third. (Or, if you’re in a different part of the country, those latter two might be called the boring names of Caramel DeLites* and Peanut Butter Patties.)

    Every year, I tell myself that I’m not going to buy any. I don’t need them. (My waistline certainly doesn’t.) There are other snacks out there I can buy instead. And yet… and yet… Well, so far I’ve only bought one box of Thin Mints. I actually picked it up a week and a half ago as I was leaving the grocery store. The Girl Scouts were out, I walked past them, and then was almost to my car when I turned around and went back and bought the box. Their siren call was hard to ignore.

    As soon as I got home, though, I threw them into the back of my freezer. Frozen Thin Mints actually taste better than regular ones, but it also means that I can promptly forget about them. This is a good thing because otherwise I run the risk of eating half a box in the space of about 20 minutes. And so they sat there, completely forgotten about, until someone on Livejournal mentioned selling cookies. *sigh*

    So far, I’ve eaten five of them. Three at first, then two more a couple of minutes later. I’m hoping that by writing this up I can push past the craving. And I suddenly have sympathy for people trying to quit smoking.

    That said, there is one kind of Girl Scout cookie that I can always pass by, and those are the nasty shortbread Trefoil cookies. I think I’d rather just eat sawdust. Bleah. Bring those into my house all you want, they are about as exciting as watching paint dry. At least I have immunity to one variety, I suppose.

    How long until Girl Scout cookie season ends?

    * — I don’t know who they’re fooling, there’s absolutely nothing “lite” about them.

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    When Search Engines Go Horribly Wrong

    At my job, when we put together training there are often still images used to accompany the text on the screen, to help get the idea across. Rather than shoot all of these images ourselves (although we do that at times, plus depending on what the course is about we often get photos directly from our clients), sometimes we go to stock photo services. One of these places is Photos.com, which back in the day used to be a huge boon to our work. They had a great photo library and we found a lot of good selections.

    Now, I’m not saying all the photos were good. Even back then there were some rather questionable images. But we’ve noticed lately that some images don’t quite fit what you’re asking for. (I won’t even get into the nudity that crops up when you least expect it. I think we’re all still a little dazed by the naked guy holding a bunch of bananas next to—but not in front of—his crotch.) Take, for example, today. I typed airplane and eating into the search box, told the website that it had to match all of the search words, and clicked on submit. What I wanted was a photo of someone (preferably a family, but I’d take what I could get) eating food on a plane. Perhaps even a meal provided by the airline. What I got… well…

    Ok, which of the three do you think showed up in response to the words airplane and eating?


    A shirtless man holding a bottle for a baby?


    A pile of crabs?


    Or a hummingbird eating nectar from a flower?

    Continue reading When Search Engines Go Horribly Wrong→

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    A Typical Conversation

    This is, for the record, a real conversation I had earlier tonight.

    Charlie: Ooh, that’s a great name, we could name a child that.
    Greg: No, we already have a name picked out for our mythical child, remember. Huggybear Batman.
    Charlie: But that’s for a boy. What if we have a girl?
    Greg: Huggybear Batman.
    Charlie: NO.
    Greg: Ok, Huggybear Batwoman.
    Charlie: What about Huggybear Batgirl?
    Greg: Well, Batwoman is a lesbian.
    Charlie: Hmmm. Interesting. But we don’t want to pigeonhole our child. Let nature take its course.
    Greg: True. Although Batgirl got shot by the Joker and put in a wheelchair for life.
    Charlie: Well then, it’s paying tribute to Batgirl’s strength.
    Greg: Good point. Huggybear Batgirl it is.
    Charlie: Wait, what was the last name we decided on?
    Greg: Breadtangle.
    Charlie: Huggybear Breadtangle.
    Greg: No no, you have to always say the first and middle names together, like my friend Sarah Grace. Huggybear is just “eh.” Huggybear Batman is awesome and rolls off the tongue.
    Charlie: Then maybe we should make the last name Batman? Huggybear Breadtangle Batman?
    Greg: Um, only freaks change their last name to Batman.

    (And then Charlie started laughing so hard that we had to stop the conversation so he wouldn’t rupture something.)

    I am also fairly certain that, should we ever get a child, social services would take it away within a week once the neighbors found out.